If I had to write a biography about someone I think it would be Robert.
When I arrived in Split, Croatia on the ferry I was offered a room by and man and his son. It was a good price so I went with them to the house and when I got there I met a guy named Robert who comes and lives there for at least a couple of weeks every summer. He looks like a mix between George Castanza and Danny Devito but with a smile that I would imagine Mr Bojangles has in the song by Jerry Jeff Walker; it was only redone by the others. Robert drinks too much, smokes too much and has a dirty mouth, but means well. Much of his family lives in Michigan. His parents are both from Hungary and moved to the US when they were very young. They had their honeymoon in Pearl Harbor when it was getting bombed. He doesn´t like his mother. He has two sisters and a brother; one sister recently passed away. He is in his 50`s. He has lived in California and studied Oenology (the study of wine and wine making). He also lived and worked in New Zealand, Australia, South Africa and spends the majority of his time in Hungary and the Czech Republic.
I got to spend only about 24 hours with him but got to hear many stories. Our conversation was 90% Robert, 5% me and 5% silence (usually when he was buying a beer or taking a leak). He worked as a Roadie in the early 70`s for Yes, The Eagles and Pink Floyd; they liked him because he worked hard while they hooked up with women. He loves music and reading and writing. He has every National Geographic since 1953 and reads a lot of George Orwell and other classic authors. He hates McDonalds but eats a burger every once in a while to remind himself. His last girlfriend turned out to be a lesbien. The girl he liked most he was together with for 3 years and she had been married 3 times before him. At one point he told me that after he left her...well, she sort of dumped him, there was another girl interested in him but he still had feelings for the old one. He then adds 'looking back, I should have forgot about her and I would have even hooked up with roadkill'
He gave me advice about life: Don`t get married and don`t have kids. When I asked what else, he said that was it.
Once when he was in Estonia he almost got strangled to death by muggers who he earlier swore at and then resisted when they tried to take his money.
Following his stories I often felt like I did when I watched 'memento' where it jumps to the future and then the past and your just trying to figure out what the hell is going on.
I mostly just laughed at his stories and asked him more questions; I couldn't get enough. When I managed to say a word or two he would tell me that I'm really funny before starting another one of his stories.
When we passed the old square in Split he said 'See how old this stuff is, it's before indians came to detroit, that's what I like about history, how old stuff is.
As he would finish a beer he would say 'to beer or not to beer, that is the question and I know the answer' I once said 'another beer?' and he replied 'it's what I do, sometimes I just drink beer'
Robert remembers dates and cities that he`s visited from all over the world. To EVERY lady that walks by he says 'hi honey'
He told me that if he were a lady he`d find me good looking, he then laughed about this and for the next 25 minutes told me not to worry he loves women and I have nothing to worry about. (He then pointed out all the girls he would hook up with, which was pretty much everyone that walked by)
He does great accents from all over the world.
There is so much more that I can't even think of right now.
It wasn`t just the stories he told but the demeanor he told them in while coming up with quick, whitty comments about the stuff going around us at the time as well. He made me laugh and called me his friend; he even gave me a hug when I was getting on the bus to the airport. It`s very rare to ever meet a Robert but I will remember him and hopefully meet him again somewhere down the road to hear more stories. We traded contact info but he doesn`t have email yet. I know that you all would love to meet him so when I find out when I will meet him next I may take him on tour.
Next time you have a drink, cheers for Robert.
No comments:
Post a Comment