I arrived in Amsterdam late at night and was tired and planned on taking it easy until I met two beautiful brazilians outside of my hostel and after chatting a bit we decided to go and check out the town. Amsterdam is a great city with canals going through it every which way. It is also known for a few other things since it is a liberal city. There is the red light district which is a few streets lined with women in windows and red lights above them. It is possible to hire services from these women. They have a union and it is called the red thread union which helps the women set up like an entreprenuer. I would wonder when they decide to stop selling themselves and are ready to move on what they would put on the resume and depending on the job or the boss if that would help them get a job or hurt their chances.
After checking walking around the red light district and the downtown the girls and I met up with a couple of other brazilian friends of theirs. We then went to a coffee house. Coffee houses aren't known for selling coffee even though they do. They are more famous for handing you a menu which lists many types of canibus; aka: marijuana, weed, and such. (If you would like to know all the names for this there is an Ali G episode where he goes into it). Don't worry, I didn't buy any canibus, but everyone always thinks I smoke anyways since I talk slow, am usually not in too much of a hurry, usually have a smile and am generally up for eating munchies. Although it is legal in Holland, their country has one of the lowest percentage of users, it is mostly all tourists. (Just so you know, you don't have to fly to amsterdam to buy it, although it isn't legal everywhere, you can buy it anywhere).
The following morning I headed for a walk around town and met up for a 5 hour bike tour that took me all around the city learning about the different areas, the history, out to a farm that makes cheese and clogs (some people still wear clogs-wooden shoes). I had to walk back to the hostel, get my bag, jump on a tram to the train station, take a train to the airport, took a flight to budapest, got a taxi to a hostel and there waiting was Adam (a different one than in germany) this one we call Houdini or BORAT.
After an quiet first night we woke to walk around the city for a few hours before doing a 5 hour walking tour around Budapest. There is a river that runs through the city and in the old days on one side it was called Buda and the other side was Pest. Why they called the city Budapest instead of Pestbuda I can only guess, but it definately flows better this way. Not to brag but I one the prize in our walking group for answering the questions our guide asked. The prize: a coin worth about 4 cents; I don't know where it is anymore. It is great touring around with Borat because every big building he points to and calls it a castle. If you get a chance to travel with him and he is your guide you will wonder why no city has churches, museums, government buildings or any other type of large building. You will however be amazed at the amount of castles built and wonder why they have a cross on them or other markers that might fit another building better.
After a brief rest we headed out for the night. First stop-a jazz fest. This was situated right on the river and we got to sit in a little hut, drink wine, listen to the music, enjoy each others company while discussing how we'd both rather have the company of a lady at that moment but instead we were stuck with each other. After coming to this conclusion and finishing our wine it was time to head out. We then ended up at a bar/club that we couldn't get into because I had brought my bag along; I bring this bag everywhere, it has my life: cameras, ipod, passport, medicine.. you get the point. (This won't be the only place I'm not allowed in. It wasn't the first and is far from the last, I'm usually too dressed up and places won't let me in). So we ended up at some other outdoor festival for a while until we decided to end the night after devouring a pizza and burning our mouths.
Next day we put the walking shoes back on and first stopped in a church that was carved into the side of a cliff and then headed to the highest spot in the city where there is the Liberty statue of Hungary and from there we could overlook the entire city.
Toilets around parts of Europe. Instead of these toilets looking like a funnel where everything goes in the hole some toilets have a ledge right beneath you and then when you flush it pushes everything forward into a hole at the front of the toilet. Because of this, when you do your business and finished it is glaring at you and you are forced to see what you've done. It's as if the toilet is talking to you saying "alright, look what you've done, now how do you feel?" I thought I felt better but now I'm so ashamed and since it's not in water the smell takes over too so I feel even worse thinking I made that and that smell. It really can humble you.
Borat and I headed on an overnight train to Krakow, Poland. After a few hours we had to switch train cars and when we did we realized that we had accidentally left the tickets on the old car which was left back in another city. So we had no ticket and two more countries to go through. We found a guy in the train who spoke english and explained our situation to the ticket man in Poland; he was fine with it. Then he explained it to the guy in the next country; he wasn't fine with it and charged us for the duration in his country which luckily was only a couple of hours. Then we arrived in Poland and that ticket lady was MEAN. She told us an amount for the ticket and since we didn't have Polish money we had to pay in US and we knew the currency exchange and she tried to tell us it was different but we held strong and when she got frustrated she left. We figured we owed her between $40 and $50 and when she came back she told us a number and knowing she wouldn't take credit cards we asked her if she would and this frustrated her to ask us how much american money we had without speaking any english of course; there was a lot of hand motions, some noises and her speaking the same lines in polish that we didn't understand and us speaking the same lines in english that she didn't understand. We gave her a $20 and told her it's all we had and she gave us a ticket and left fairly happy.
With a couple hours of sleep we arrived in Krakow. We treated ourselves to a gourmet breakfast which costs about $5 each while in the meantime laughing to tears for no other reason except that we were so tired that anything was funny. We we got into our hostel we took a well deserved long nap before heading out of town to the world famous salt mines. (World famous and I bet you've never heard of them).
These mines were unbelievable. It was like an underground city. It went over 1000 feet deep and since they started it they've taken out over 30 million tons of salt; think about that number. Thousands died in the hundreds of years they worked on it. Down at the bottom of the mine there is a church that is breathtaking, everything in it is carved out of salt, the alter, the chandeliers, the statues in the walls and a statue of the pope. The only downfall of this was that it was extremely set up for tourists, they suck every cent they can out of you and make you go on a guided tour through roped off areas. I want to get down and dirty on tours, scrape my knees, fight for air and not just listen to a lady or is talking to us like she's said the same thing thousands and thousands of times.
We had taken a bus to the salt mines about a half an hour outside of the city and while waiting to catch a bus to head back I jokingly suggested that we hitchhike back to the city. Two cars later a car of three ladies drove by and I partially put my hand out; the brake lights went on and they stopped. We asked if they were headed towards the city and when they said yes we jumped in. The were three attractive women in their late 30's who only spoke polish so all the way back they cranked up the american rock and roll music and we all sang as our driver raced a taxi towards town. When I gave them gum in a shape they apparently haven't every seen they asked if it was drugs and when they chewed it they jokingly started making sexual noises. When we got to the city we sat and had a drink with them and then after talking with to Dutch guys who were in a golf tournament there we headed back to our hostel to get ready to go out for the night.
Being in Krakow on a saturday night I could only look with my mouth open, it was as if we were in a rap video or on entourage. Half of the girls that walked by were stunning. When we found our way into "the best club in town" on our second time there (the first time we weren't allowed in because of what I had on from head to toe, so I had to change) it went up to maybe 8 or 9 out of 10. We ended up with a bachelorette party for the whole night talking and dancing with them. I spent a portion of the night talking and trying to understand a girl telling me that she's dated someone for three years who she doesn't love but it would be scary not to have someone because it's comfortable; no conclusion came about. Adam and I headed out of the bar with a plan to find our next thinking maybe it was 1:30 or so and when we were on the street and asked someone the time we were utterly amazed when they said it was 4:30. (Neither one of us has a watch, we go to bed when we're tired and wake up whenever. So far we've been on time to everything we needed to to be; I repeat, so far).
Oh yeah, one of the girls asked us if we liked jokes and then asked us "why don't italians like grilling?" Because the spaghetti falls through.
We politely laughed and wondered if that would be any funnier told in any other language.
Most cities have famous quotes on a wall or on a statue or something like that.
In Amsterdam they have a saying carved into the stone on a famous building that forever will be sound advice. Translated it says "Human Beings should not urinate into the wind" Something to live by.
There are more pictures up for this portion http://tinyurl.com/oa3ea
1 comment:
That joke sounds almost as good as the one Loridana told...remember? 2 dogs meet up and one says "Where are you from?" and the other says, "Bic" and the other replies, "Like my pen, Bic?" Like you said, maybe its better in another language...hahaha
Post a Comment