I woke up this morning to find emails of tragic news. One of my very close friends, Tom Lueders had passed away. There was an accident in a hotel room involving carbon monoxide poisoning. His father was with him and, after being taken to the hospital, survived. I felt frozen; how could this be?
When I started this trip my first destination was to Washington DC to visit Tom. I am so happy that I had a chance to spend time with him again before I left out of the country.
Tom and I met when he moved to Grosse Pointe from Boston my senior year and I found him in my science class. When we first hung out with a few of our other friends, he suggested we go putt-putt golfing. We convinced him that it must be a Boston thing and that we had never heard of it. After a couple of hours of trying to explain this game with colored golf balls and hitting the ball through clowns and such he realized that we had him going; from then on it was a mutual harrasing and a great friendship.
I went to visit Tom in Boston where we painted the town red. I went to visit Tom in Rome where we arrived back home at around 6am to throw all the cheese in his refrigerator out of his 6th story window at anything or anyone we felt deserved some cheese. He came to visit me in college and easily got along with and became friends with all of my other friends.
In the summers when we were back at home we spent time discussing life, going out on the boat with his dad, going into Canada or just hanging out, trying not to get into trouble.
Tom grabbed life by the balls. He didn't just sit around and wait for things to happen, if he wanted something he would go and get it. He always enjoyed himself because life is too short not to. If I ever checked my email and saw there was something from Tom or saw his name on my phone (Tommy Boy) when it rang, a huge smile would come over my face because there would be a great, entertaining story or just a voice with excitement in it.
I know that Tom lived life to its fullest and enjoyed it more than most people. I am happy to call him my friend and even luckier that he called me his.
When I would talk to Tom before a night of going out, I would tell him to stay out of trouble and he would tell me that if he got picked up by the police he would use his one phone call to call me. I never got a phone call, which was a good thing.
It is not length of life, but depth of life. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
5 comments:
There are a lot of things to say about Tom but at the end of the day, if I could say only one thing, it would be this: Tom Lueders was a hell of a lot of fun. And I like that, because I think it’s the way he would have wanted to be remembered. Steve’s not kidding when he said Tom grabbed life by the balls; the kid was neck deep in it from the first day I met him, and long after we went down our separate paths. Tom wasn’t afraid of a damned thing, and you knew it. And what’s even better is that he didn’t do this to prove anything to anybody, anywhere. He did it because that’s who he was, and he did it every step of the way. What a great way to live.
I’m not a religious person, so I don’t think Tom’s gone anywhere, or that he’s watching us, or anything like that. That’s just my belief. But in a way, I still believe that even in death, we live on through the marks we’ve left on people, the lives we’ve touched. And in this we have no say – people will remember us, whether we like it or not. Anyone who ever met him certainly remembers Tom. And anyone who ever had more than the briefest of encounters with him was surely shaped by him. I was. I am lucky to be among those people upon whom he left a mark, one of those people who now proudly carry his legacy. Tom may have left this world, but it’s sure as hell a better place because he was here.
I think what upsets me the most about this news is knowing that Tom won’t get to share himself with all the people he should have. But I, like many others, carry with me a small part of him. And as I live my life, and touch the lives of others, I leave with those other people a small piece of Tom. In this way he lives on. Let us always remember how we are better for having shared a part of our lives with him. Thanks Tom.
Pete
sorry to hear the news steve ..
shames
This blog is a special tribute to life,friendship and especially to Tom Lueders, whose life was cut tragicly short. That he lived life fully and with humor leaving so many great memories to those who knew and loved him is a gift to all as we are mourning not being able to share more of life with him. May his parents know that they brought into the world and raised a unique,special person who gave so much happiness, joy and lived well during the short time that he was here. God bless them, Tom and the whole Lueders family during this very difficult time.
Steve: If you're interesting in commenting on Tom for the Detroit Free Press. please call me at 313-223-4296. His father told me about the blog.
regards
Ben Schmitt
Reporter
Steve,
This is a great tribute to your friend. Stay safe.
Dad Hess
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