From stardom to retirement in a day

BOLLYWOOD ACTORS

starring: Stube, Bobbo, Witek

As we arrived to the bus, which would transport us to the bollywood set, we met with the other white soon-to-be actors. Don, who was from north, central Canada, and others who were shipped north from Goa to act for a week. Corey, our recruiter, told us what to expect on the journey there; lots of yelling, rushing, and disorganization. He also said that we were not supposed to take photos while near the set.
On arrival, we walked over a hill to see all the tents set up, one main tent, one for costumes, one for makeup and others scattered about with food tables serving different food for the different hierarchies, and of course a table serving chai. In the background was the once scenic lake, that is, until the film crew came and the entire area was filled with plastic cups, plates, and random garbage making it's way into the edges of the water.

There were many extras brought north to Jaipur. Since most bollywood films are shot around Mumbai, they didn't know how easily it would be to find people. They found a core of people in Goa who they offered a free 36 hour train ride north, a thousand rupees a day, room and board, and train back south if they stayed for just over a week. There were also many people from a school near Mumbai, in Pune brought. Many of the students were from Kashmir and Afghanistan.

After eating breakfast they rushed some guys, including myself into British soldier outfits. First, commanding us to put on black boots, all that were too small for my feet, I asked for socks, which they had few, my pair was wet, obviously someone had recently had them on for a day or twenty. I got pants that I really had to suck in the gut to fit into (and I've lost a bit of weight in India) After a few times sitting down in these pants I had a good size crotch hole. I was then suited into my jacket, hat and gun holster without gun. The jacket had a big either gum stain or bird shit on the back which didn't seem to bother anyone. I had my hands covered in henna from the marriage the night before with my normal 5 or so bracelets on; this too didn't bother anyone, apparently henna and bracelets were big 70 years ago.

Vitek, Bobbo and myself were huddled to stand attention in a line with soldiers of all different groups for a set up shot in the movie. We laughed and smiled as people moved us back and forth (no one really knowing where we were supposed to be, but they wanted to look busy and feel important, so bossing us around was the theme of the day; and disorganization) The big actor, Jackie ? (I forget the last name, but a big deal in India) would march with a core of people dressed up towards us, while we stood at attention and bowed when he neared. This scene took about 20 takes, which took about 1 hour. About 45 minutes of this hour was everyone watching Jackie brush his hair and moustache to make it perfectly how he wanted it. (This went on the entire day! There wasn't one person who didn't personally hate him and his hair by the end of the day) After our first scene we went and sat in the shade and had had about enough of bollywood acting even though we were signed up for the next 9 hours.

At one point while sitting in the shade, some guy who we hadn't seen came over and told us he wanted to show us where we would stand at a later scene. I refused and ended up sending Bobbo to check it out. They walked to the middle of the grass where garbage was thrown about and as he started to give instructions, a woman came and yelled at him to do something and while walking away he told Bobbo that we will march from that point sometime later in the day (which we never did).

Half of the bus that came as extras were girls. The girls were not used in this day and therefor were our bag protectors. This job consisted of laying in a tent with our bags near them ALL DAY.

At around 12:30 they called us soldiers back to the same area. As me and Vitek lined up where they directed us outside in the sun, we saw Bobbo walk directly into the main tent where all the main actors/actresses and directors were. After a couple minutes, Vitek checked if anyone was looking and then slid inside. After five more minutes I wasn't going to wait outside in the sun with all these fake soldiers I didn't know, so I ducked in. In this tent was the set up of the main scene with couches and chairs. Just behind them were Bobbo and Vitek standing as soldiers which I decided to join. We whispered wondering how long it would be until they realized we weren't supposed to be here and kick us out. The main director came by us with a stern look on his face and said "make sure to bow when the general enters the scene!!".
I want to make this clear. The director, who sets up the movie and scene, decided that where we snuck into, looked good for the movie. It didn't matter that we were lower ranks standing behind the generals of the different nations WITH GUNS in our hands.

Another famous actor, Salman Khan, who apparently was voted some years back and one of the top handsome men (who also apparently six years back was drunk driving and killed six people-this is known to all Indians, but they still look at him as a hero!!) was in the tent with the hair brushing man. This handsome (cocky bastard) sat down and was fed a meal while we waited. He ate the plate and on his last bite looked disgusted, and then looked up at the guy who brought him the food and said "this is shit"; this was after he had eaten the plate. The guy, who couldn't do anything but feel ashamed lowered his head for a second until "drunk driver" couldn't lean forward to grab the water a foot from him on the table, so the guy hurried and handed it to him.

There were also two white female "real actresses" and a white "real actor" in this scene, who had been making the movie for some months now. I watched as three different directors came by and told them three different ways to act in the same scene. You could tell they had been dealing with this for some time because they just looked at each other and laughed while also looking disgusted.

As Bobbo and I watched Jackie comb his hair time and again in between forgetting his lines, we tried to inch one way or another, depending on which direction would get us in the frame. Although at one point we saw the actual footage they were using and it was a close in just on the two actors faces. There was no chance that half of the people they gave direction to as extras for standing could have remotely been in the shot.

We finally got a break for lunch and then called it quits and went and laid in the tent for sometime.

Because we snuck into that previous scene, we had to be in the tent the rest of the day which ended up being one of the longest shooting days of the movie. First they didn't plan on us being in there and then after they couldn't do anything without us.

We ended up going in and out about 3 times, each time holding a different gun, wearing a little different uniform, and standing with different people around us.

One time we ditched our shoes and then had to find new ones. I whispered to Bobbo to look at how my shoes were barely on my feet because they didn't fit and were also untied and how I didn't think anyone would notice. Then he whispered to look at his shoes which were his New Balance running shoes. All I could think about was in Shawshank Redemption when he walks through the prison with the new shoes on and comments how nobobdy notices shoes.

We were finally freed at the end of the day ready to never work in a Bollywood movie again.

It really worries me that these actors who were the people that we mostly couldn't stand are looked at not as celebrities, but as heroes by the Indian people. Crowds of people from nearby villages would come close to the shoot to get a glimpse, while the police would chase them with bamboo sticks, taking full swings at them if they got close enough. Seeing the Slumdog Millionaire movie a couple days later, I can see how some people would go through anything to get noticed by these actors.