#64 Southern Laos on my motorbike/waterfall tour. Now it decides to rain and I've killed my bugs then I've given birth to.

After announcing to everyone in Pakse that I have a fungal rash and need a cream (I announced it to everyone because no one spoke english at any pharmacy or anywhere, so it doesn't matter because no one understood me; I finally had to go to the emergency room to ask a doctor who spoke a little English what the cream was called. Anyways, It's from to much moisture in the air and I got it in places like behind the knees and armpits, so shut up, I realize everyone reading this knows now which doesn't bother me because my mom loves me regardless since she is the only one to read this) I decided to get out of any cities and go to the countryside.
I rented a motorbike for 4 days and hit the road, meeting up with a couple of people along the way that also rented bikes. All along the route were these little local towns and lots of waterfalls.
The first day after visiting the first waterfall I stopped in a little village and sat on a porch with a family while one of the sons played a miniature guitar and an older man weaved together a basket (they use these weaved baskets over here like they are going out of style).
After not seeing rain for months and then seeing it the day I arrived in the south (it's not rainy season so it's not supposed to rain much) it happened to rain every day I had my bike. When you are on a motorbike and it is raining you have to make a choice to either go slow and get more wet or pick up the speed and be colder along with the rain feeling like little bullets hitting you in the face. I didn't have a face cover on my helmet so I'd have to squint in order to limit the raindrops that would pelt my eyeballs. I always chose to go faster and try to get somewhere with cover. We ended up the first night in a little place called Tad Lo. I was given a bungalow that had two dogs always sleep on the outside of my door; free protection.


This was the group stopping at a little restaurant to stay dry during one of the unexpected rainfalls.






The next morning I did a hike and ended up walking along a river for a while. I watched as all the local kids fished and played in the river. I have seen here many times, kids going to the rivers with either fishing poles or a harpoons to catch food for the family and they absolutely love it. Another thing is that they must have some sort of a rule here along with lots of countries I visited where anyone under the age of somewhere between 5-7 can't wear pants, they must be naked. Many times kids have a shirt on, but just no pants.


This is a picture of the kids fishing out on the river.
All I could think about was the kids at home playing playstation and watching TV.






The next couple of days I visited a handful of more waterfalls and a few more little villages with nothing big to report about. It was extremely relaxing and a good change from everything I had been doing.
About my 4 days driving a motorbike:
I had to bandage up my hand everyday so that it wouldn't hurt the hole I have in the middle of my hand when I held the handlebar.
I almost hit: 2 dogs, a chicken, a duck, a lizard, a truck, no children (thank god) and a cow.
I went to do a sharp turn once and the wheels didn't grip so the bike went down, I managed to stay up, came to a stop on the bottom of my barefoot (which was sore the next day). No big noticeable damage that I was charged for.
I hit a big pothole once that caused the 4 water bottles in my basket to jump out of the basket onto the road; two exploded, two survived.

I went on a road trip with my friend Pete once from michigan to Syracuse in upstate NY to visit Nutter and I remember we didn't wash the windshield on the way there because we wanted to see how many bugs would be on the windshield during the trip there; there were a shitload.
Now you can imagine that same amount of bugs and I was the windshield, except at times I felt like I was in the Matrix seeing these bugs come at me in slow motion and trying to dodge them at the last minute. I dodged some but had quite a few hit me in the legs, arms, chest, and it seems most got me right in the face or forehead; do I really have that big of a head?
One time I remember seeing a butterfly about 10 seconds ahead floating around and thinking "that is so peaceful and beautiful" 10 seconds later that butterfly was implanted on my chest. I managed to save money on this roadtrip since I usually ate my fill of bugs on the way to anywhere.

When I got back to town today I went to this Sauna/Massage place.
When I would go the steamroom at MSU with my friend dan we would take these little tablets in the room that would mix with the steam and would open your lungs. Here at this one they put me in the Sauna and put a big pot of plants in the room with me. The smell of these were great and had the same sensation of opening up my lungs and making it 100 times easier to breath. After the sauna I decided to go crazy and get an hour and a half massage as opposed to the normal hour. The girl I had giving me the massage would stop and analyze any time she found anything on my body. A mole, a birthmark, a bruise, a scratch, my fungal rash, a scar, or anything. It would be a noticeable pause in the massage. It made me feel like a freak. I'm sure everyone has these things and she's seen it all before. Why couldn't she have paused to notice my muscles around my body or something that would make me feel proud. Instead I felt like the elephant man and wanted to cloth myself from head to toe. This girl is in the wrong profession, she would be a great dermatologist.
Also, I told this girl to be strong and I want to feel some pain during my massage. She started off walking on my back and legs for a while and then after that massaged with her hands. After the pressure of walking hands don't feel like anything. It's like having sex and then after going back to first base, it's just not the same. (In the end I'm not complaining, I'll take what I can get, hands, first base; life is delicious) After that I paid my total bill of $4 and got out of there feeling relaxed, great and looking around to see if others were noticing my freakish characteristics.
Tomorrow morning I head south to a place called 4,000 islands before heading into Cambodia.


This is me with my sweet ride on a dirt trail heading to a waterfall.
As you can see I had my hand bandaged up and ready to ride.
Since the gas was done with the right hand I would wave to everyone with my left, bandaged up hand. (I did a lot of waving on this road trip, I've really got it down)






I'll end with a lame joke in honor of the bugs lives I've ended.

What is the first thing to go through a bug's mind when he hits a windshield?

His ass.