#48 Kites, Monkeys, My indian family and I'm the boy named Shive (sounds like Sue/shoe)

So much has happened in the five days since I've written last. This is the hardest part of the blog, trying to remember and explain everything (also my fingers get tired).
From Delhi I took a bus to Jaipur to visit the friends (Nick and Ganaess) who invited me to stay at their home and attend the wedding ceremony and partake in the festivities leading up to it.
As the bus entered Jaipur I saw thousands of kites in the air. The rooftops were filled with boys, girls, men and women flying these kites. The trees had hundreds of kites in stuck in them. This was a big holiday for this part of the country; the kite festival. I met up with Ganaess and headed back to his village which was outside of the city. Here I got to experience from the rooftop the flying of the kites and the unbelievable skill these people have in flying and controlling their kites. I am convinced that everyone in India knows how to fly a kite and it is so hard for them to believe that most people in the US can't fly a kite. Part of the skill is trapping another string in the air and wrapping your kite several times around their string so that it cuts and the other kite goes sailing down to the streets where all who see it coming run after it; it is somewhat of a trophy. When a string is cut there is a loud roar from the rooftop of the assailant.
I also got to witness the others that roamed the rooftops; the monkeys.
There are the pink faced monkeys which are the dangerous ones (they have attacked people in the village before) and there are the black faced monkeys which are the more peaceful ones that just want scraps of food. These two groups of monkeys don't get along and will fight when in each others presence, they also live in seperate parts of the city (does this sound familiar).

I got to meet all of the family that lives in the house (15). Only a few speak english but they all welcomed me with open arms and after day 5 (now) they are like family to me and no words are even needed. 15 in a house is fairly low compared to other houses in the village, the neighbor has 23 and the houses with the most have between 40 and 50 in a home. The people of India are extremely hospitable, everyone I meet wants me to come over to their house for a meal or at least for tea. They all want me to meet their families, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts. If they say they are a brother or uncle here it doesn't mean they are by blood, pretty much anyone can be. If they say this person is grandma, it is true she is a grandma but not necessarily theirs. They insisted I have my own room while 4 and 5 shared another room.

The next day we prepared for a big pre wedding celebration (9 days before) and so first things first they told me I should shave the beard and so for an equivalent of 7 cents I went to the barber and let him shave me. I didn't even recognize myself. Once the main work was done in preparation for the evening there was more kite flying were I decided to give it a try. I SUCK at kite flying, but everyone got a laugh out of it so it's alright. It is quite a relaxing hobby and I would like to get better here and continue during my life. Night arrived and about 300 guests arrived to celebrate Nick. (the one who is getting married) His sits on a box and everyone brings him gifts and they announce the date of the wedding officially. Old men smoke cigars, they pass out tea, the future bride who is not in attendance has her brother and family come to give Nick gifts to wish him future luck and happiness. I stand out like a sore thumb and feel a little guilty for more people watching me than watching the celebration (especially the children). I told Ganaess that I can't eat some fruit and other foods because my stomach was not used to it and so he is now overprotective of me out of pure kindness. I was told not to eat any of the sweets being passed out because they are not good for me and I shouldn't eat anything hot because it could upset my stomach (but I like hot foods...and sweets), but he insisted. For 12 nights before the wedding if there is not a celebration on that night then the women of the house and village gather at the house from 8-10 to sing traditional songs to Nick while the same happens for the future wife in her village. Electricity goes out in the village at 10pm and comes back on at 4:30am, but goes back off at 9:30 am and comes back on at 6pm. I find we don't really miss it at all.

I went and visited the school of Ganaess's real sister Indra. Here I sat in on a classroom after watching the morning prayer that is mandatory to attend (public school). These classrooms are very simple and even the computer class only has 3 computers which only allows each child 5-10 at a time 2-3 times a week.
I then went with a group of the boys from the home up the nearby mountain/hill to have a view of the village and neighboring villages. Whenever I meet anyone new they ask me, "what is your good name?". This confuses me a little because as far as I know I only have 1 name, whether it is good or bad I'm not sure. If I have a good name does this also mean I should have a bad name? We headed back to the village to eat some food and while eating, Jothi who is about 9 yrs old had a monkey jump off the wall and take the food right out of her hand and then quickly climb back out of reach. In this process Jothi jumped and through her other, liquid foods all over the place; it was very exciting.

When we travel around the village or through town I have gotten a chance to ride on the back of motorcycles which is an adventure in itself. I went for a day with Ashok (pronounced ahh shole). We stopped on the way at a farm where they make bricks and I was able to learn about the process.(there are some many things I realize I don't know and take for granted)

As most of you probably know most of the marriages in India are arranged marriages. The thought is that the parents and older family members are wiser and can better pick out who will be a good fit for a husband and wife; it seems to work quite well. As we (westerners) would refer to the arranged marriage as something unusual and possibly a bad thing, this is the same they feel about our so called "love marraiges".

I shat for the first time in a toilet that is a hole in the ground, it wasn't as bad as I expected.(I tried to avoid it all together, but after holding out for 3 days and eating that spicy food I was warned against there was no more hiding from it.)

I tried to tell many people that my good name was Steve, but it is very difficult for many of them to say here so to make it easy for everyone the family decided that they should just call me Shive (pronouned a mix between sue and shoe), and all I could think about was Johnny Cash and that here life is easy for a boy named shu. Did you know that Shel Silverstein wrote that song?

India has been the most drastic of cultural differences of anywhere I have ever been. I can't stress how lucky and appreciative I am to be staying with a family and learning about their culture first hand and to see how it works within everyday life. This is nothing you can read in a book or see in a movie. The experience of course would be different depending on the family I stayed with also, but for me at this point, I couldn't ask for a nicer group of people to be with.

I have been reading the autobiography of Ghandi which he calls "The story of my experiments with truth" It is great thus far and I would like to share some parts that I highlighted with you.

First, he explained the Indians way over 100 yrs ago which I think still hold fairly true today. "Our different ways of living, our simplicity, our contentment with small gains, our indifference to the laws of hygiene and sanitation, our slowness in keeping our surroundings clean and tidy, and our stinginess in keeping our houses in good repair" also that "Indians give more than had been expected of them".

He had a habit of taking long walks all the time.
"It was mainly this habit of long walks that kept me practically free from illness throughout my stay in England and gave me a fairly strong body"

"No matter how explicit the pledge, people will turn and twist the text to suit their own purposes"

"Proneness to exaggerate, to supress or modify the truth, wittingly or unwittingly, is a natural weakness of man, and silence is necessary in order to surmount it. A man of few words will rarely be thoughtless in his speech; he will measure every word."

as far as teasing a man for wearing unusual clothing this man replied,
"You civilized fellows are all cowards. Great men never look at a person's exterior. They think of his heart"

This part really hit a chord because I am the first american that many people every meet and their feeling of americans will be based only on their experience with me.
"Their responsibility to be truthful was all the greater in a foreign land, because the conduct of a few Indians was the measure of that of the millions of their fellow-countrymet"

"It has always been a mystery to me how men can feel themselves honoured by the humiliation of their fellow-beings."

"differences prove helpful, where there are tolerance, charity and truth"

I think these are a good two to end with.